18 - Praise is Necessary

Conventional wisdom:  Too much praise will go to their head. 

✔ Reality:  That often used statement is senseless.

Praise means to show approval, appreciation and recognition.  The child that is motivated to excel and is rewarded with a sticker or gold star isn’t really collecting gold stars, he or she is earning approval, and praise.  When they receive the gold star, they are in the spotlight.  When the star is displayed on a chart, they and their peers are reminded of the deed or accomplishment, and the action is positively reinforced.  A child that is regularly rewarded and recognized will strive to keep it coming.

✔Parents have a powerful tool with praise, and are their children’s number one cheerleaders. Timely words and hugs may launch a child to greatness, while lack of praise or worse yet, mean criticism, may have devastating effect.  This is such a strong concept that there is no need to show convincing examples, however it is surprising how many parents fail to use praise with their children.

  Here are some words and phrases to work into your everyday routine. 

1. Congratulations, you did good 

2. I’m proud of you 

3. Hurrah, kudos, high five 

4. Way to go5. You did good 

6. Wonderful 

7. Wow 

8. Great job 

9. Success, huge, tremendous 

10. Humongous 

11. Fantastic

     Hopefully the above list has got you thinking, not so much of specific words, but of working praise into everyday conversation.  Do not wait for your child to do some praise worthy project or accomplishment.  Give them an approving slap on the back, just for being themselves.   Create or invent a situation, then applaud away.  “Look, you ate your beans, how wonderful, you did a great job, high five, I’m so proud of you, now try the cabbage”

     A few more praise worthy thoughts:

We should be hearing parents pump up their kids with over the top gushing like, “Oh you are wonderful,  I knew you could do it. What a great job,”  However, when adults hear some of these lines they may think “how corny, or cliché .

      Little kids thrive on this kind of praise and optimism. When preschoolers come home from daycare or preschool armed with a handful of scribbled drawings to show mom and dad, they are looking for and expecting attention and approval.  

      ✔All the parents need to do is acknowledge their child’s work in an approving exciting manner.  What the child gets out of it is self-approval, parental approval, and assurance that they really are wanted, loved and still  #1 in their parents’ life.  If the preschooler comes home to a blasé parent attitude, and has their scribbling ignored or unceremoniously tossed in the circular file, they will quickly turn to attention getting antics.  How will mom like crayon cave drawings scribbled on the walls for instance?

You look good, so do you, you too. 

Good job, you too, and you too.