24 Fixing the Bully!

Conventional thinking:   It’s not my child, or 
it’s not my problem.

 ✔ Reality:   You are probably correct.

You could easily take this title the wrong way, and you would have a lot of support,  but correcting bullying behavior is tough, and neutering isn’t dependable.  The bully is in his element and getting fixed is not on his agenda.  

Sometimes parents approve, even promote aggressive behavior involving sports, and then allow it to carry over into everyday.  When the parents approve there is nothing to do except duck and cover and avoid contact. When the parents are on board, one recommended method is to have the bully become the victim and be asked the question, “How would you feel to be treated this way.” This question will need to be asked again and again by teachers and parents.  Eventually the bully will gain some empathy, and see that his actions are hurtful.  Sometimes if appropriate, the bully should be instructed to make amends, or fix the damage he has caused.  When caught and addressed early, the bully may simply wise up, once he realizes his actions make him a pariah.  But, if attention is what the bully seeks, or is ignored, or is cheered on by his peers and parents, will you know what happens then.  

Just like taking the title the wrong way, one could also think that this discussion is just about boys being bullies, and little girls are angels.  Little girls are not angels, and their bullying can be especially vicious in non-physical ways.  The cure is the same for girls and boys.