- Conventional wisdom: Bonding is easy.
- Reality: Bonding is a two way deal, and crucial in a child’s life.
It seems like most parents think their kids are good looking, cute and cuddly, even though some are stump ugly and dumb as a rock. Someone once said that the reason parents don’t see their kids for what they are is so they won’t kill them. Killing and or eating offspring is not unheard of in the animal world, but some animals create strong protecting and nurturing bonds. Momma bears and their cubs for instance. And yet, once the cub is old enough, momma bear throws them out. Humans, especially mothers, develop strong protective nurturing attachments with their children. The same may be said for people and their pets. They all have one thing in common, and that is, they are close together when young, and the baby is dependent on the parent.
Mothers nurse babies, fathers cradle infants, pets sit with owners. Research suggests there are hormonal changes in humans causing maternal instincts and actions, but one thing is clear, infants that have strong bonding relationships more often go on to become capable better adjusted adults. Early researchers that followed children of orphanages noticed this not surprising correlation fifty years ago. Simple logic tells us that feeding, protecting and comforting young that cannot fend for themselves benefits the young. Whether parenting benefits the parent is arguable depending on when you ask the parent.
Parenting mistakes are common, but horrible consequences are rare. Abandoning a baby, infant or toddler alone against life, without caring support, and never bonding with anyone is devastating to the child and morally wrong. It doesn’t take money, education, or even a biological parent to provide support and affection. It just takes a real person and time. Some so-called modern career driven parents with busy schedules, and hectic routines rely on daycare and sitters. Sometimes their children are given to daycare at birth. This socially acceptable practice may be responsible for spawning ill equipped problem children destined to mature into adults lacking empathy, and unable to have close meaningful relationships. Imagine if a pet owner locked an animal in a cage and ignored it, they would be guilty of animal abuse. It’s a shame that infants and toddlers aren’t afforded the same protection. There is almost no argument that the single most important thing new parents can do, (other than protect) is bond with their young kids. All it takes is hugging, cuddling, and looking into each other eyes from the day they are born, until a few years goes by, or the desire to kill or eat them goes away.
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| EAT THEM ? |
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