5 - Redirection is Manipulation - and thats a good thing!

• Conventional wisdom:  Manipulation is for experts and savvy salesman.

•  Reality:  We all use it one way or another.

Manipulation may not be PC, but distraction and redirection techniques work with children, teenagers and some adults.  Associating an event with a story often helps remind  parents of simple distraction techniques, so the following story is for that purpose.  

The scene is a local park, the toddler is tossing a Frisbee and wouldn’t you know it, the Frisbee gets stuck in a tree.  His contorted face forecasts the crying and tantrum about to be unleashed.  The parent that is a master of redirection and self-serving manipulation immediately converts the lost Frisbee episode into a wonderful experience.

  Here is what he does and says.  First, he gets in his kids space, face to face, drawing attention to himself and away from the lost toy, exclaiming excitedly what a great thing he has done by getting the Frisbee stuck in the tree.  Next, he goes on and on explaining the next time they come to the park they will check to see if the Frisbee is still in the tree.  While lavishing praise on his beaming toddler, he also offers a ready alternative. (let’s play ball)  The idea is, turn the lost toy mishap into a good thing to be happy about rather than an upsetting negative.  If the child has a puzzled look, it means it’s working, so keep up the charade and the praise until the child gets a grip.  Remember he was about to unleash a torrent of high volume emotion.  Once the child has moved on and is past the instant fit throwing stage,  calmness returns until the next  big trigger event. 
Use this story to remind you to utilize redirection as a parenting tool, and remember the technique (with sophistication) works with adults and teenagers too.  For example - Ouch, that fender bender you got into with dads car will certainly help you learn about insurance deductibles, what a great thing. (more sophistication and less sarcasm needed, maybe?  If you don’t like the story, just remember , put a positive spin on negative things.

Yippee - the sky is falling - now we can learn about gravity!