21 Instant Gratification and the List of I Wants

Conventional thinking:    Why not, I can afford it, I deserve it, what can it hurt?

✔  Reality:     Impulsive actions may not be well thought out.

Impulse buying, impulse eating, impulse actions are pretty much to be avoided, but try taking kids shopping without coming face to face with savvy marketing aimed right at them.  Referring to the Stanford study again that brought this fact to light,  they showed children that are able to better control their impulses, do better as adults.    Less impulsive people tended to do better academically, in business, marriage, in virtually all aspects of life, even enjoy better health.  The good news is that all of us, including young children can learn to control impulsive behavior and it is never too late to take charge.

✔ For children, the first and possibly best thing a parent can do is learn to say no.  Just saying no to our kids is the primary solution to a myriad of parenting problems.   Children learn that they can demand, nag, beg, scream, throw tantrums, etc., and they get results.  They may not even be thinking about what they want.  After the first I want is decided or voiced, all they want is instant gratification or results.  What they are learning is not thinking, but acting.  Life choices require thinking first, the stove is hot, the knife is sharp, the candy is a poison pill,  buying everything on credit requires paying it back, flipping out at work means getting fired and then getting another job.  Saying no to your children does not mean denying them; it means you are teaching them self-control.  Self-control, that they need to experience and  to make part of their life.

Things you can do as a parent are simple, think first, become aware of what you are doing or teaching your children.  Here are some ideas and examples to think about.  The basic piggy bank teaches delayed gratification (self-control) breaking it with a hammer does not.  Taking lunch in a sack and not eating it until lunchtime is good, eating it on the bus on the way to school is not so good.  Playing a toddler game that takes a while to complete is better than tearing pages out of a book.  When a screaming baby throws their food off the tray and mom quickly replenishes the supply, only to be tossed again.   The baby is learning instant gratification, and may have no idea what it wants, but it is getting instant results.  If mom waits a minute and then spoon feeds something different, everyone wins.  At the grocery store check-out aisle the shelves are lined with impulse items, just say no, no matter what. When your teen says  “I need a new XXXX”,  ask them to explain why they need it right now this minute.  Finally, once again look at your own habits.  You may be able to slow your own instant spending by simply leaving extra cash and credit cards at home, thereby forcing yourself to take the time to think about that impulse purchase.  As an afterthought, you may wish to log off your online account and not have the buy now button staring at you while you surf the net.